


Four Lives Tiana Didn't Have

by zarabithia



Category: Disney Princesses
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Character of Color, Character of Color, Community: rarewomen, F/F, POV Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-22
Updated: 2012-04-22
Packaged: 2017-11-04 02:50:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/388859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarabithia/pseuds/zarabithia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four alternate universes that Tiana could have lived in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Lives Tiana Didn't Have

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EllieMurasaki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieMurasaki/gifts).



_One_

"Ow!" Charlotte's voice rang through the basedment turned headquarters located under Tiana's diner, and Tiana scowled at her. "There's no sense in scowling at me so much, Tiana. It's not like anyone in your restaurant can hear me. We redid the soundproofing just last spring." 

"I'm not so sure that even Jasmine's 'magic' cloth is enough to completely drown out your cries, Lotti." 

"Are you saying that I have a big mouth?" Charlotte scowled and crossed her arms over her chest to glare at Tiana properly in return. 

"No, of course not. Would I imply such a thing about The Princess of Speed?" 

"Hey, it's Speedia: The Fastest Woman Alive, remember? I changed it last Monday!" Charlotte said indignantly, as though Tiana was supposed to keep track of the various superhero names that Charlotte went through, when they all lasted an equally ridiculously short amount of time. "Yes, you would! And _Ow!_ "

"Well, I wouldn't have to say that you had a big mouth, if you weren't quite so loud," Tiana said practically, as she wrapped the bandage a little more snugly against the wound. It wasn't too tight, but experience told her that if she didn't wrap it tight enough, Charlotte would find a way to wriggle out of it sometime during the night. 

Not that Tiana minded Charlotte's wriggling, because she really didn't. 

" _I_ wouldn't yell so loud if you weren't being so rough with my leg," Charlotte retorted. "It's not necessary, anyway. I heal super fast." 

"But this one isn't healing as fast as it normally does," Tiana said patiently. "The Sea Witch did a number on you tonight." 

"She didn't get you, of course. Have I mentioned that I'd much rather have your shape-shifting powers than my own?" 

"You've mentioned a few times, yes," Tiana noted with amusement as she began putting the bandages back in the first aid container. She took time, as she always did after a battle in which everyone made it out okay, to offer up a prayer of thanks, both for the outcome of the battle being in their favor and for all the times her mom had made her pay attention when it came to sewing. 

Apparently, whether it was sewing cloth or sewing skin, the concept was basically the same, and Tiana was thankful that she'd paid as close attention to that as she had to her father's lessons in spices. 

"Stupid Ariel not taking care of her own turf," Charlotte complained.

"Ariel's suffered from the Sea Witch's powers before too," Tiana corrected. "She certainly deserves time to take off to enjoy her husband during her honeymoon." 

"Hmph," Charlotte scoffed. "There's no way they're having as much fun on their honeymoon as _we_ did." 

"Well..." Tiana laughed at the obviousness of Charlotte's leer. "It's not terribly likely, no." 

"As long as we have that established, shall we go upstairs and make sure Croc and Naveen haven't completely destroyed your restaurant?" 

"Mom wouldn't let them and neither would Cindy," Tiana said loyally. 

Charlotte leaned even closer, giving a much better view of the leer in question. "Then shall we take the back elevator upstairs and skip directly to the celebratory post-battle heroic sex?" 

"Now you're talking," Tiana answered back. 

~

_Two_

"Three credits says she misses." Gaston had been a smug bastard throughout all four years of Starfleet Academy, but graduation had made him even more insufferable. He sat sprawled out on the bench next to her in the bar, his legs propped up on a chair that Quasimodo had been sitting in before Gaston had proven himself to be the very worst of pilot cliches and kicked poor Quasimodo out of his chair. 

There was a reason Tiana preferred to stick with her fellow scientists and communication students.

Well, officers now, Tiana supposed. 

Still, Tiana bit back her irritation and turned to Gaston with a fake smile. "Oh, I'll see your bet and raise you five credits that she _does_ make the shot." 

Gaston, whose inability to pass up a bet had made Tiana's years at Starfleet a much cushier experience than it otherwise would have, smiled back in a way that said he _still_ didn't understand how any woman could say no to him. "I'll see your bet, Lieutenant."

"I'll take that bet, too," Shang, sitting across the bench from them and next to Esmeralda, offered. Mostly Tiana was disappointed that he'd opted to take the bet instead of beating Gaston soundly, but humiliation would work just as well, Tiana supposed.

"Of course, you've got to support your girl, no matter how futile the mission," Gaston said dismissively. 

"I will also take the bet," Esmeralda said solemnly, and Tiana grinned at her favorite fellow scientist. Being assigned to the same ship was going to make the five year mission so much more interesting than it otherwise would have, because Tiana could definitely appreciate the fact that Esmeralda was gorgeous _and_ a brilliant scientist.

"Are you done making your bets now?" Mulan called from across the room. "I'd like to actually make the shot." 

"Give it your best shot, babe!" Gaston called back. "Try not to drop that big Klingon dart, though. Don't feel badly if you do, though. Most humans have difficulty with it, especially ones as tiny as you. Why, I've been told that I was the first and only human to truly be able to lift the dart on the first try." 

Mulan rolled her eyes, lifted the dart to her shoulder and gave it a good hurl. It landed almost perfectly in the middle and the Klingon warrior song began to echo throughout the bar. 

Gaston scowled and gave the chair a good kick. 

"Don't be a sore sport, Gaston. There's a reason Mulan and I went into security," Shang said smugly, but in the good kind of smug way that a person deserved to be after their awesome girlfriend had earned them extra credits from the resident crew asshole.

"I expect those credits in my account by the end of the night, Gaston," Tiana said simply.

Gaston gave her a glare. "Damn science and security officers!" he grumped. "You'll have your damn credits."

With that, he stalked away and Mulan came over, still swinging lightly to the Klingon warrior anthem playing in the background. 

"How are we going to put up with him for the next five years?" Mulan asked, plopping next to Tiana. 

"Every ship has to have its own amusement," Esmeralda said with a light shrug.

~

_Three_

"That was certainly a cliche," Jasmine scoffed, leaning in the doorway of the detective's office.

Tiana looked up briefly, before returning her attention to the currently undone buttons of her blouse. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Jasmine laughed and pressed her ridiculously red lips together. "Right, because there's so many cliches at work here, I need to specify."

"Don't you have an evil cat to feed?" Tiana asked, reaching for her jacket, which had somehow found its way to the floor. Oops. 

"My cat isn't evil, and our clients love her." 

"Our clients run in fear of the little beast who might as well be a baby tiger." 

"I like how you are trying to derail the conversation away from your sexual exploits with the sexy client with the evil mother, _Detective._ " Jasmine scoffed. "And really, what is with _your_ blonde fetish, anyway?"

"I don't have a blonde fetish," Tiana denied.

"First Charlotte and now Rapunzel?" Jasmine arched an eyebrow. "Sure you don't. It's not a big deal, anyway. I have a thief fetish. First Al, then Eugene. We've discussed and come to terms with it." 

"Which is another cliche of its own, _Detective._ " 

"Yeah, but I'm not fucking them in my office," Jasmine retorted. "Also, you skipped a button."

Tiana sighed and fixed her button. "I know, it is ridiculous, it makes our business look much less professional - " 

"Bullshit," Jasmine answered back. "We're the most successful private detective agency on the entire west coast, Tiana. That isn't going to change because we like orgasms with attractive people."

"Your father would cry if he heard your sailor mouth," Tiana grumbled.

"And your mother would cry if you told her the truth during her nightly 'how's your business doing, baby' conversations? Besides, Daddy's just glad I'm _not_ a sailor anymore. The whole running away thing, after all," Jasmine reminded her.

"I think we should go for some lunch before poor Snow overhears our conversation about parents. You know how she gets sometimes," Tiana answered. "I'd hate to have to give her the rest of the day off, because the floors really do need a good scrub."

"Agreed. You can tell me more about your sexual exploits and living down to parental expectations over a good bowl of soup," Jasmine said cheerfully, reaching for her own jacket.

Really, Tiana would have argued, but experience told her it was useless to do so. 

"Sure. I know the best restaurant," Tiana answered instead. 

~

_Four_

"You know, I really thought the whole demon killing thing would be much more adventurous than this." Pocahontas looked up from the book she'd been trying to work her way through for the past hour. 

It might have been an easier task, if the book wasn't half as thick as Pocahontas was tall. Apparently, the Big Book of Demons did, in fact, need to be pretty large.

"A little more adventure and a little less reading?" Tiana offered, looking at her stake longingly. It felt like it'd been forever since the last time they'd actually been out taking down demons.

Instead, she was sitting at the same table as Pocahontas, with a book of her own, just as large as the one Pocahontas was working through. 

"A little more stabbing and a little less boredom," Pocahontas corrected. 

"True. But the last time we had a 'little less boredom', our watcher turned out to be evil and her recruit a long-ago kidnapped prophecy girl with magical healing powers," Tiana reminded. 

"Yeah, it sucked about Gothel, but really, wouldn't you rather be fighting evil watchers and the Stabbington crew than ..." Pocahontas trailed off and gestured to the books. 

"I would." Which couldn't have been a particularly good out look to have, but ... "Maybe it's not so much the lack of excitement that we miss, but the lack of a crew. We went from four of us to just two. It completely changed the dynamic of our team." 

"No, I'm pretty sure it's the lack of excitement." Pocahontas gave a light shrug. "But okay, maybe I miss Rapunzel's easy to troll self, too." 

"Then think of it this way, when Rapunzel finally comes to terms with her 'prophecy,' we can impress her with all of our hard earned demon trivia," Tiana said cheerfully. 

"Sounds like fun," Pocahontas said sarcastically. With a sigh, she turned the page of her book.

~


End file.
